THE PURPLE BUTTERFLY

Wind was not unusual around here, nor was rain, and even hurricanes happened every once in a while. A Purple butterfly, however, was quite another thing. A purple butterfly was just about as unusual as seeing a man with 4 arms, which had actually happened here once but that’s another story.’

This was the land of Simpi Aleutia, an island nation that was at least a million miles from anywhere, where the color purple was almost never seen. The only thing purple on the whole island was cabbage actually. Yes, a purple butterfly here was very unusual, and on that day it arrived it caused quite a ruckus.’

One of the island’s residents, Mrs. Kurtle, was just sipping a bowl of her finest green mango soup when the Purple Butterfly danced by her window. She was so startled that she swallowed her spoon whole!’

When Mr. Kurtle finally retrieved the spoon and heard what she had to say, he thought for sure that his wife was losing her mind. Why, seeing a Purple Butterfly was about as crazy as seeing a man with 4 arms!’

Mr. Kurtle quickly dashed off to fetch the doctor, leaving his wife staring blankly out the window. He was in such a rush that he didn’t even notice he’d shut the door right on the tails of his long coat. When he took a step the coat drew tight and his legs flew right out from under him. He landed right on his old noggin, and his lights went out completely!’

When Mr. Kurtle finally gathered his senses enough to open up his eyes, he saw a big beautiful Purple Butterfly sitting right on this very end of his nose! She was very beautiful, almost glowing and very purple. Poor ole Mr. Kurtle so surprised that he fainted!’

‘Young Mimmy Mater was on her way to her dancing lessons when it happened. She’d bent over to tie up the old laces on her boots, and when she straightened up there it was sitting on her dancing records! A Purple Butterfly!’

Young Mimmy sat down right there and put her hands over her eyes and counted to ten. When she opened her eyes again the Purple Butterfly was gone. Hmmm. She turned right around and ran home as fast as her legs would carry her, leaving her dancing records behind. Then young Mimmy ran up the stairs to her room and crawled into bed, clothes and all. That’s how much that Purple Butterfly scared young Mimmy Mater.’

‘Old Jambro Colki was taking his monthly bath when he thought for sure that he’d finally gone bonkers. He was sitting in his ancient lions claw bath tub, blowing bubbles through an old broken pair of glasses, when he created the finest, most perfectly proportioned bubble that he’d ever seen in his long, long life.’

Jambro was proudly admiring his perfect bubble when in through the window flew a Purple Butterfly! The Purple Butterfly and the huge bubble collided and became one. Together they slowly drifted back out the window and out of Jambro’s sight.’

Jammi, (that’s what his wife Beulah called him) shouted so loud that he blew his brown wooden false teeth right across the bathroom. His teeth disappeared completely into his Beulah’s jumbo jar of cold cream!’

Missy Two Eggs was an old retired hen that lived out behind Jammi’s house, in a lovely double decker hen/rooster house. Missy occupied the ground floor apartment, being that she was afraid of heights, while a feisty old rooster named Roscoe made the penthouse his home.’

They called the old hen Missy Two Eggs because in her prime Missy had been in the habit of laying two eggs every morning. That was quite some time back though. Missy was now retired from the egg laying business and preferred to spend most days pretending that Roscoe was bothering her. (She secretly liked to be bothered by Roscoe though, but don’t let him know)’

On this particular afternoon Missy Two Eggs, being retired and all, was working on her tan. She’d just had a sip of her cactus juice when she felt a gentle wink on her right wing. She figured it was just old Roscoe the Rooster who’d been pestering her for at least 400 years.’

‘Missy suddenly yelled out, ‘Roscoe, make yourself useful and go fetch me another glass of cactus juice and leave me alone!’. When the wink didn’t move she opened her eyes and there, sitting right on her wing as plain as a petunia was a Purple Butterfly! Well, that just about turned her feathers right inside out!’

‘Missy Two Eggs then proceeded to squawk about as loud as an old retired hen can squawk, and then she jumped up and started running in no particular direction. Well, old Roscoe heard Missy squawk and he came a running! In Roscoe’s mind he was her knight in shining armor, and it was his duty to protect his fair maiden.’

‘Roscoe was running for all he was worth to rescue his damsel in distress. Missy was scrambling in circles and screeching for all she was worth. As Roscoe came around the corner of the barn at full steam ahead he ran headlong into Missy Two Eggs. They collided beak to beak with a tremendous impact, and were both knocked out as cold as a cantaloupe.’

‘And guess what? The very next morning Missy started laying 4 eggs, which of course resulted in everyone calling her Missy Four Eggs! That continued right up until she passed on to that farmyard in the sky, at the ripe old age of 126, in chicken years of course.’

By the next day the whole town was pretty shook up about the Purple Butterfly. Most people thought that it was just a gimmick of some sort. Some people figured that Iggy the Inventor had created the butterfly in one of his crazy experiments. So far Iggy had professed that he was innocent.’

The mayor, Mrs. Daisy, decided to hold a public meeting at the Center Court and find out what was up. The people were pretty concerned about this situation, nothing like this had ever happened before on this sleepy little island. Mrs. Kurtle in particular was screeching away at anyone who would pay her attention.’

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Old Jambro Colki was blabbering away so fast that nobody could even understand him, having no teeth and all. His wife and he had searched high and low for them, but so far they’d had no luck.

Iggy was there too, still proclaiming his innocence to all.

Mayor Daisy mopped the sweat off her brow, raised her arms to quiet the crowd, and started to speak. For the first time that she could recall it actually worked, and everyone stopped talking. The townsfolk just sort of stared at her, their mouths wide open but completely silent. Daisy felt as though her day had finally come. She was finally getting the respect that she figured was deserved, being mayor and all.’

Mayor Daisy noticed young Mimmy pointing at something on top of the Mayors head. She gingerly reached her hand up to touch the top of her fine crown, where unbeknownst to her the Purple Butterfly was resting. The Purple Butterfly suddenly took flight and headed towards the crowd, slowly and majestically. It was magnificent, beautiful, and very purple.’

The whole town watched in awe as the Purple Butterfly gracefully floated over the heads of all the Simpi Aleutions. The she caught a gentle breeze and floated off.

The beautiful Purple Butterfly slowly got smaller and smaller, until it was just a little purple dot far away on the horizon. And then the Purple Butterfly disappeared completely, lost in the baby blue cloudless skies of Simpi Aleutia.

The people still talk about that Purple Butterfly today, almost a half a millundrum later! Yes, that little Purple Butterfly caused quite a ruckus on that day it came to visit Simpi Aleutia.

Oh, by the way, Jambro did find his teeth eventually, and they were just as white as, well, just as white as cold creme!’